Question that some women ask part 2 - What do you do after a break-up? ..A popular topic for now, prob coz I am going through one meself :-(

Interesting question. Post break-up - difficult times but not the end of the world. You think of him all the time, you wonder what he was doing, wondering if he is thinking about you, etc etc.. well, you know the drill. Some people deal with it without major drama, some take a much longer time. So, for those of you who can't seem to break away from that helpless lonely feelings after a break-up , here are some tips I found on a website :-) Heheh... not my tips, but they sound reasonable enough, and they do make perfect sense:

Walk out of your heartache, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you could give. If you feel you did your part as best you could, but he or she didn't meet you halfway, then you'll be just fine.

As trite as it may sound, this one bears repeating: find something constructive to do - something that will hold your attention and require you to focus and get interested. Once you've spent a few days (or weeks) indulging the grief, it's time to take a class or maybe join a book group. Find something that gets you out of the house and out of your circular thought process and involves your brain or your creative side. Sometimes you've forgotten who you were before you hooked up with the person you're so sad about now, and you need to wake yourself up a bit and remember that you used to have fun doing things you've forgotten about since then. You've got a brain, go use it for something besides re-running old memories!

Remember those old catch phrases: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", "Everything happens for a reason", "There are other fish in the sea" and likewise. When you go through a break up or some other emotionally challenging time in your life, you're actually getting closer to finding true happiness because you are getting to know your true inner self. This may or may not include marriage or romantic relationships... and that is okay, no matter what you do in life.

As simple as this sounds, be clear to yourself that you are actually breaking up. Too often the thoughts of possibly being back together gradually eats at you and destroys your emotional well being. Accept the truth of your situation, and commit to it.

Keep your dignity. Many times, it's our ego that causes the pain; we feel rejected and deceived, embarrassed. We doubt our self worth and adequacy. So what better way to survive this than to not give yourself any more reason to feel ashamed, but instead feel pride in yourself - volunteer, take a class, do things that remind you of your value as a person.

Remember that this pain just has to be survived. It takes a season of time to heal, like a broken arm. You won't die from it, though you may feel like you will for a time. Eventually, though, you will feel better, the pain will lessen, and you will be able to love again.

Don't look for so many distractions from the pain, emptiness, or heartache that you fail to process the emotions adequately. You're supposed to grieve a lost relationship in which you'd invested yourself emotionally. Think about it - what kind of person could just say, "Whatever" and walk away as if nothing had happened? Ride it out - turning to destructive distractions like drugs, alcohol, casual sex, etc. will only make things worse, and can actually prolong the entire grieving process. If you try to hide from the pain, it just waits around the corner and jumps out at you as soon as the temporary relief of your "distraction" wears off. The best and only way to get to the other side of the sadness is to go straight through it with a clear head. Believe it or not, it's the fastest way as well. It won't be long until you do feel better.

If you were the one who got "dumped," avoid the temptation to chase after your ex, ask them questions about what went wrong, and try to "fix" everything. It will only strengthen your ex's resolve to push you away, and will make the breakup much harder and more painful than it needs to be.

So there you go. A few tips to keep you going. I learnt long ago not to drown myself in sorrow, for time does not stop when you are mourning your lost. Mourn you must but after that, move on. You will not capture the time you lost ever again, so don't waste it. A friend told me once that if he doesn't appreciate my love, then why should I bother with him. I think that is fair. I may seem to cope well with my break-up but truth is, it still hurts when I think about it (I wouldn't be human if it doesn't). I am still dazed at what happened but I chose to look forward, grief and all. I have done all I could, and given all I could.

A heartbreak allows both parties to have a breather, to look at what happened from the outside, and decide what is the next step. If it doesn't look good, then move on, look for another.. yeah yeah.. as if it is that easy. If only there is a supermarket selling men eh?? haha... I know it is not easy, I tell myself it is not. Ah well, if there is no luck this lifetime, maybe the next? Hahaha.. hey, gotta have some humour sometimes :-D