“I would ask for still more, if I had the sky with all its stars, and the world with its endless riches; but I would be content with the smallest corner of this earth if only she were mine.”
— I Would Ask For Still More, Rabindranath Tagore

An interesting article in The Star today about a young man who expressed his love for his country, Malaysia. Studied abroad for 3 years, then decided to go home, for his country is where his heart is. He said 'To call this beautiful country my home, I put up with these limitations.'Just what are these limitations he was talking about? 'Limitations such as to what extent I can voice my opinion, behave with my loved ones in public and succeed in my career path.'As a Malaysian myself, I understand what he was trying to say, and it is true that living in Malaysia, there are certain limitations as to what one can do. Coming from someone who left Malaysia to pursue a better quality of life, I may sound very impersonal towards my own country. Unlike this young chap who chose to return, I chose to leave after spending 36 years of my life there, well almost... 36 years. Started working at the age of 21, I have gone through 14 long years of working life. Ahh life was much better during the university days!!! :-) I had everything, a good career, a house, a car, a not too bad life, and if I had stayed, I have no doubt that one day I could hold a higher position in the teacher community. I may not be able to afford a luxury car, or big mansion, but still my life would be comfortable enough. So why did I leave?

I left for many reasons I suppose. Not because I do not love my country anymore. Not because I do not love the people there or the values or the culture. I left because I wanted something more for myself. I don't want to look back 15 or 20 years from now and see myself doing the same thing, or asking myself 'What have I achieved??' It may be hard for some people to understand that. Some friends asked why I was taking this drastic measure to change my life, i.e to uproot and go. Why throw it all away? Why Australia? Why not Kuching or KL? Sometimes I ask myself the same thing.

So why did I leave and come to this country, and suffer the hot/cold weather, the high tax cut in salary, a life where there is no family and close friends around??? A country where a nice plate of 'kon lau mein' or 'Char Siu Fan' is hard to come by. You see I asked for a second chance at life, to do the things that I could have done, to atone for actions I shouldn't have taken and try to make a difference - and my prayers were answered. This is my second chance at life, of doing things the other way and hopefully more meaningful. Like the young chap in the story who is still discovering who he is, I too am still on the journey of self-discovery. Being here has shown me that there is whole new world out here just waiting for me to explore. I am not saying it is easy, these past 11 months have not been easy. There were times when I felt like giving up and go home. It does get better as days go by, and now I am more settled in my life. I met and make new friends, good friends, I do things I wanted to do and I do it my way, I enjoy the quiet life.. sometimes boring.. but it's ok. I enjoy doing 'nothing' sometimes and don't feel guilty about it. In time I will explore other activities, maybe do my Masters degree or do other courses, or maybe find a second job, who knows.. there is a world of possibilities out there. Why Australia? I suppose it could have been any other countries, Singapore or Canada..Truth is I like Australia, it's a lovely country..

So, I still love Malaysia, I love the values, I love the culture.. but if I were given a chance to do it all over again, I would still chose this path, the road not taken.. ahh.. but now it is...